On my journey last year, my paths crossed with another soul. Someone new. Someone with whom I knew instinctively that I didn’t have to hide, or pretend. A safe place. This is somewhere I’d forgotten existed and something that I’d not received for a very long time. And finally, because of this, I could hear my body again - after all this time.
This is it:
I don’t know you
Not really
I don’t know your likes
or the way you recoil in anger
I don’t know your past
and your present is a haze
I don’t know how you laugh with friends or where you’ve made enemies
What you find stressful, funny or your perfect day
I don’t know you
yet
but my body does;
It knows you’re safe
My soul empties at your feet
Releasing the armour that has clung rusted to my being
Knowing that you’re brimming with kindness, gentle and accepting;
Trusting you, in entirety.
You stand facing the world, unassuming, arms open in welcome
What you say is what you mean
There is no tiptoeing amongst the shadows
No hidden agendas, eggshells or silent treatment
I have a voice where previously there was none,
And empty nothings fill voids that once twittered nervously
My world freer because of you.
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We stand together, you and I,
Naked and unafraid
New shoots on old branches
Each seeing the rings that went before with graciousness and understanding.
And my body knows,
It has known from the very beginning
What my mind could not,
That you see all of me,
All of my facets and quirks and randomness
Holding space, openly embracing each one in turn
As if they are nothing, normal, even lovely.
That you’re on my side, no matter what
Holding my hand even when we’re apart.
And that I am safe
Finally
And that is all I need to know.
